Comparison is the thief of joy. -Theodore Roosevelt
Physical appearance, job title, vacation destinations, restaurants visited, number of Facebook likes – the number of categories in which we can compare ourselves to others in infinite. So is the number of people to whom we can compare ourselves.
One of the fastest ways of discouraging yourself and getting trapped by the sin of envy is when you compare yourself to others. God has a specific plan for you and you won’t accomplish that plan by looking at others.
These 5 simple will help you stop comparing yourself to others:
1. Recognize the impact of comparing yourself to others.
Comparing yourself to others has several negative effects:
a. It fuels feelings of envy, inferiority and resentment.
b. It leads to stress, anxiety, unhappiness and depression.
c. It wrecks friendships.
d. It robs you of precious time you could use to pursue your goals. You only get 86,400 second each day. Why waste even a portion of them comparing yourself to others?
e. It disregards your unique talents and the purpose for which God created you.
f. It disobeys God’s word – Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others. Assume your own responsibility. (Galatians 6:4-5)
2. Practice contentment.
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13)
This may mean taking a break from social media.
While social media can be a great source for inspiration, it can trigger feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and frustration.
As Steven Furtick said: “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”
3. Develop an attitude of gratitude.
Oprah said, “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
Whenever you find yourself looking at what other people have, remind yourself of what you’re grateful for. That may mean appreciating your family, your wonderful friends, and the fact that you’re living in a country in which you enjoy certain freedoms. In doing so, you shift your focus from what you don’t have, to what you do have.
Keep a gratitude journal. Take 5 minutes every evening before going to bed to write down 3 things for which you are grateful.
4. Focus on being the best version of yourself.
“Comparison with myself brings improvement, comparison with others brings discontent” — Betty Jamie Chung
Examine various areas of your life:
a. Health and fitness
b. Mind/emotions
c. Career
d. Family
e. Money/finances
f. Social/relationships
g. Spiritual
Assess how your life is going in each area. Rather than comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to where you were a year ago. Celebrate your progress. Set goals for where you would like to be a year from now.
This is an opportunity to gather ideas from others.
As Tony Robbins said, “If you want to be successful, find someone who has achieved the results you want and copy what they do and you’ll achieve the same results.
Instead of letting other people’s triumphs be a time to get down on yourself, use them as inspiration for what you can be, do and have in life.
Arrange a conversation with someone who has achieved what you are seeking to achieve.
5. Avoid “shoulding”.
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)
Comparison often leads us to practice “shoulding”. We say things such as, “I should be married by now” “I should have more money saved for my retirement” or “I should be further along in my career.” These statements keep you focused on the past. As Paul said, you focus on the future and press forward. After all, there is nothing you can do about the past. But statements like that just keep us focused on what we’re lacking.
Instead of using “should” when expressing commitments, use “starting now I will…..” . Follow this up with a goal and action steps spelling out specifically what you will do and when you will do it.
It’s your turn Now…I would love to hear from YOU.
Which point mentioned above resonated with you most today? Why?
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.
Also, if you haven’t already done so, be sure to sign up below to receive my free newsletter with new articles like this your inbox each week.